How are you going to pay him enough to leave his law firm?

“I’m not very good at golf. I never got a hole-in-one. But I did hit a guy. And that’s way more satisfying. You’re supposed to yell ‘fore,’ but I was too busy saying, ‘There ain’t no way that’s gonna hit him.’” - Mitch Hedberg

There’s no reason to stop doing this.

No.

nah brah.

No.

Amazingly enough, the Padres are belatedly interested in Seung-hwan Oh to lead off their home game anthems.

At what point do you have to seriously consider bringing David Eckstein out of retirement?

Your tears are so so sweet.

Can the Cardinals stop losing?

OK, I see, Cardinal losses and Mitch Hedberg quotes, sort of like chocolate and peanut butter together, except in pure form and not turned into some kind of bastardized mess like Reeses Peanut Butter Cups.

I'm ok with this. I'll gladly give up one Blackhawks Stanley Cup for a Cubs World Series.

Get out of here with your nuanced STL opinions!

I ran out of good Cardinals jokes after loss number 9. So I went to my all-time favorite comedian. I figure if Deadspin can do a series on Cardinals losses (which I applaud), then I can do a comment series on our saddest comedic loss.

I find Deadspin’s commitment of time and resources all being used to troll one person, Will Leitch both immature and petty. In other words, great job!

Also, there are seven letters in “St. Louis” but *ten* if you spell out “Saint”. Need I say more? Wake up, sheeple!

These posts make me unreasonably happy. Although, seeing is how it’s schadenfreude at the expense of Cardinals fans, perhaps it isn’t so unreasonable.

.

The Cardinals have lost 22 games. Jorge Soler’s number is 68. Michael Wacha’s number is 52.