Well, there’s nothing to get your team hitting better than channeling Ted Williams.

Chad Curtis had the previous baseball record, having eaten 15 on five occasions.

Prime cut. +1

Those horny fans “come really close,” but do they Finnish?

Hmm according to the Detroit News write-up, the kid was shouting to Miggy “I got your back!” or something, not trash-talking. He's a Cabrera fan, apparently. Which I guess isn't surprising when your team is the Indians and you have to look elsewhere for stardom.

That boy was quickly traded to Texas for a case of Cherry Skoal and Julio Franco.

Yeah that’s totally what I said.

I never understood the whole “Southern Pride” aspect with the Confederate flag. The Confederacy lost. And badly. It’s not like this was some war of atrition in which both sides just stopped fighting and signed leave treaties. They were routed and destroyed.

Probably not. Does your boyfriend think she's cute?

Meanwhile, in Hell:

It’s nice to see women achieving equality in being assholes online.

Oof. +1

Another year in the cellar for the Cleveland Women, though.

This is what Gronk would be doing if he wasn’t in the NFL

“We need more of this kind of sacrifice.”

Catches like this should really help the Chicago Wildfire stay at the top of a division that includes such powerhouses as the New Orleans Hurricanes, the San Francisco Earthquakes and the South Carolina South Carolinians.

They might not want him on the West coast, but a lot of the South would love to get involved with Cousins.

Noooooooo, not really. What would happen first is the NFLPA would probably file a lawsuit against the NFL for violating their collective bargaining rights, at which point an independent counsel would decided whether or not Goodell has the authority, based on the league’s constitution, to arbitrarily hand out…

You forgot to mention Peter King. He will also be in the room, tucked away out of sight between Goodell’s legs.

I hope the Rog shows some consistency and completely fucks this up.