This was nothing. I’m waiting for his meltdown during his Morning Tweet Toilet Time.

As tightly wound as he is, a stiff wind is enough to keep him hard.

I'll say!

Pensive Pence, sitting there fantasizing about Rep. Pelosi.

Tis the season! I'm just happy it's bringing all of you as much joy as it has me.

Right, brah?

Here’s the only documentary on Fyre we need. Let Austin and his bros take you on a (hilarious, for us) journey through the heart of darkness.

Just in time for Festivus, too!

And how the hell do these dumb fucks think they’re a part of some master race? Do they never look in a mirror? I mean, I’ve never seen a Nazi that didn’t look like Fields. You don’t have genes worth preserving, assholes!

That’s one down...

Where did u move to? Down south for the heat?

I disagree. I’d like to Jurassic Park his ass.

Believe me when I tell you that I hate to ruin anyone’s cocaine-fueled celebration but the Mushroom Führer will be right there with a pardon the day Junior gets indicted.

100% real, from beginning to end.

Someday, God willing...

Ms. Aniston in private...

102 women elected to congress shows that we can absolutely overcome the A.O.D., one election at a time.

Family goes into the White House and says they’ve got a great, fantastic new act for America....

She’s such an obnoxious little queen! But I think we can take her out in two years, especially if it’s another bad year for Republicans in 2020.