I would never have responded to her, got to school early, put my shit into the desk next to the window and been laying on the top bunk when that bitch opened the door.

Kris Jenner is not Latina. “She is of Dutch, English, Irish, and Scottish descent.”

Oh god, no. I don’t want to be younger. Younger people are the worst.

is there another kim kardashian that i dont know about

Not being completely sure, I searched for the quote to find out exactly; the woman in question (regarding the 2014 “two year” quote) has the surname Christian. I thought it might be an excoriating burn.

YES. I rolled my eyes at “We feel it necessary to show the other side of this horrible drug.” As if heroin gets tons of good press and is generally regarded as harmless and awesome!

I do not have a problem being called Mexican, is the term I prefer.

As a man, I have a great idea.
If women would like to be heard more in the workplace, when one woman makes a point, the other women in the room should reiterate the idea and credit the initial speaker.

A GREAT POINT MADE BY MY COLLEAGUE STASSA and furthermore LET’S ALL LISTEN TO WHAT STASSA JUST SAID

This is very timely as I just had to listen to a female colleague tell me how she prefers working with men because women are “too emotional” and “full of drama”.

Suburban housewives consider Dr. Oz to be a Turkish Delight.

My cat just threw an open box of scones off the table in this manner. Can’t even be mad at him for it right now. I want to pick them all up and put them back just to do it myself.

I laughed at this, which makes me think I’m a much more terrible person than I thought I was. OH WELL

Easy, just ask for bowls of water and learn to lap it up like a dog.

As I’ve said before, both Matt McGorry & Adrian Grenier likely have dozens of dead bodies buried in their back yard. Watch out, ladies!

And I’d rather have Hillary Clinton in the office of the President than either Donald Trump or Jill Stein.

You should vote how you want.

If you don’t like the two party system, you should be fighting for reform by changing the voting system, not by voting for third parties under our current system, which doesn’t help end the two party system.

You don’t get to just pretend that your moral high ground doesn’t have real world consequences, jerk

Sam Bee is not obligated to support your quixotic dream of remaking our democracy at the expense of our actual democracy.