I’m laughing so hard at this. Thank you.

The thing he’s also missing is that you don’t actually HAVE to get shit-faced. The point of drinking shouldn’t be (and I’m not judging here) to get drunk. The point of drinking should be to enjoy yourself, unwind, etc. But because people like to take things too far, these situations happen again and again. Being drunk…

I’m still in mourning over that. :(

Please don’t forget he also referred to Tim Kaine as the governor of NEW JERSEY at least twice, and also for reasons unbeknownst to anyone, brought up the release of one “David” Hinckley, who, unlike JOHN Hinckley, probably never tried to kill Ronald Reagan, but maybe he knows something we don’t.

WHILE SITTING IN A GOLD CHAIR.

The RAGE that I get when I am just trying to GET TO THE FUCKING RECIPE I DON’T CARE ABOUT YOUR CHILDHOOD MEMORIES/BAD MANICURE “LOL”/ALL YOUR FOOD BON MOTS is stroke-inducing. Nothing is easy any more. Nothing.

I’ve been saving this one for a while. So happy to put it to great use.

Sarah Palin, never change.

SAME. I thought “man, she really gets this in a way that I clearly don’t...”

I will help you bury the body.

All the stars for you. All of them.

Newsflash: Prison won’t ruin him. Because HE’S ALREADY RUINED. He’s a damaged and broken human that should be returned for a store credit.

Our HS QB had 4 kids by 4 women by his senior year. Has 8 total now at 40. His grandfather was paying his child support. He went on to play football at a Christian college. :/

It’s not required. YOU DO YOU.

A girl can dream, can’t she?

So, wait. These morons are accusing her of dog whistle politics, when “Make America Great Again” exists in the same universe?

Front bottom, probably.

“I’m not gonna tell you again...” me 500x a day

MAYBE PUT THEM IN YOUR CLOSET WHERE THEY GO??? AND WHY IS THERE ONLY ONE?? WHO WALKS AROUND WITH JUST ONE SHOE??

OMG with the sock concern. I live in Tennessee, his feet are FINE, BACK OFF.