1. If I ever offered you a bite of my sandwich and you refused.

I can assure you the bride...

That looks nothing like Kristen Schaal.

They all great, dear. But we all know who is holding the reign as the legendary immortal.

Two weeks later and Maria Doyle Kennedy told this story on the Orphan black panel! Boom:

Word. I've got three of them that reappear irregularly on my face (but always in the same spots). I look obsessively for them and when I feel one start to grow there's always this horrifying first day when the hair is not QUITE long enough to pluck and I have a mental breakdown.

Every now and again I will find a witch hair on my chin that CAME OUT OF NOWHERE. I sprouted a long black hair overnight. I swear.

Whatever i'm still waiting for the long curly black hair growing out of your chin that you don't notice for 6 months to come into style.

"Do people go to Starbucks these days?"

Blake, seriously-What the hell? Did you hit your head or something? I kinda always assumed you were at least moderately self-aware, I mean you married a Canadian, but this... Oh dear god this... This is where words go to die. This is the Caligula of life style blogs, a gross overuse of pointlessly decedent language to…

"I've been fortunate enough to travel. I've been all over the world and all over this country. There's so much life teeming out of every pocket of this nation. There are people creating magic with their bare hands. Creating things which land at that amazing intersection between art and function."

This will forever remain one of my favorite movies of all time.

NEED ADVICE:

I lost it at "What's your favorite color?" "Every color informs the others".

Surely we cannot deny that meaning is instilled inside the moments of our lives by goods and makers, and we must champion them together, all of us? No? (woooow)

Wait, are we supposed to believe her answers are spontaneous?

I can't help but instantly think of Hot Fuzz...

I am totally printing out these cards, but I worry some of the men who I would potentially give them to wouldn't understand large words like "objectified".

I just do not how to get there from here.

Because, you know, women were put on this earth to satisfy a man, so if she feels offended, she shouldn't have ever been born."