I just did and my reaction is that "eggplant" is a little self congratulatory for like, 95% of these.

I cannot get over makeup beating doctors. There is nothing in the world that will ever make me like makeup, whereas my doctor is lovely and gives me sweet sweet migraine drugs.

Are you from 1877?

I really wish I could post a picture of the face I just made when I googled that without doxing myself.

When its as bad as it is today, it means I get to break out my favorite gif!

Thanks! So is Eggplant Friday like they post Anthony Weiner-esque crotch shots or is it like they post a picture of their dick wearing a little hat and tie? Because if it's the latter, I'm voting for that one.

Well I would say the same about erotic fanfics. But the highs of good fan fiction are typically head and shoulders above the highs of free porn, I'll give you that much. And the lows aren't nearly as low since, y'know, no irl exploitation.

User-generated porn is actually my current research area, so I'm also just…

The beauty of fanfiction is in the specificity. Free porn includes a lot of crap and it's mostly crap

binge reading fanfiction in a library and trying to steathily masturbate in the stacks*

Free porn for those who like reading. Literacy and orgasms!

Hahaha. I did ultimately opt for canceling plans. I once got out of something by taking a nap during the critical, 11th hour where I had to decide one way or the other. Then I woke up and fired off a "OMG!!!!!! So sorry! I totes wanted to go, but I fell asleep. Haha. :( "

I'm so smooth.

I LOVE canceling plans at the last minute! The last time I was tempted to cancel plans I thought, "No, I'd better not be a flake" and the night ended with me signing up for laser hair removal. So...always cancel plans, guys.

Let's all agree that the best thing ever is canceling plans at the last minute to watch a drunk girl yell at her boyfriend. "Babe, I know I said I would help you move, but she just screamed, 'I WILL DO TO THIS BOTTLE WHAT YOU DID TO MY SOUL' and attempted to break her bottle against the bar, but instead she fell over…

Listen, grandma, leave March Madness to the youngin's. I know you're confused by this new fandangle'd whatchmacallit fan fiction dowhizit blamaroo, but trust that the world is moving forward towards smuttier, crazier shit than whatever flesh-banging bore you've been fapping too for the past century.

Guys, free porn is such a pedestrian choice, lets carry filthy fanfiction on to the next round.

You guys missed a huge opportunity not putting "Whining about the shittiness of Kinja" in the Internet Social division.

free porn minus people getting slapped in the face by penises for 5 minutes. WIN ALL AROUND

Good job, troops. We pulled Filthy Fanfiction into the lead at the last minute! Probably won't beat free porn, but we can all rest in knowing that filthy fanfiction is in itself a genre of free porn. Well done, all.

This is getting too hard. Canceling plans at the last minute and watching a crying drunk girl yell ta her boyfriend are equally enjoyable. I can't with this game anymore, you guys. That said, FANFICTION IS WAY BETTER THAN FREE PORN. ya'll are idiots.

My husband and I met in our graduate program and began dating immediately. His best (platonic) friend from the program is a woman. I like her a lot and vice versa, but she's close friends with him, not me. I'd been fresh out of the second of my two abusive long-term relationships with someone who manipulated me into…