"My dick is sort of like a white supremacist. I've got a Benetton heart and a fuckin' David Duke cock. I'm going to start dating separately from my dick"

Seriously. I love it when people move on to Pretentious Level Humbleness.

"I'm a recovered ego addict."

in addition to his garbagey racist comments, he's also trash for commenting in print about his sex life with Jessica Simpson. I'm not specifically a fan of hers, but how violating for your ex to be talking about how you are in bed TO THE ENTIRE WORLD.

"By day I was this sort of mild mannered kid who nobody really saw. And by night I was listening to Charlie Parker and John Coltrane and Freddie King and Jimi Hendrix and Eric Clapton,"

no, ye landlubber, the C be his first love!

Yes, I encountered that often when working for an ENT. There was another cardiologist with the same popular name 70 miles from my office. There was one particular hospital that frequently faxed several pages of DXs, treatments, height, weight, and so forth along with surgical reports sent to my boss for the…

what do you get when you cross my grandma with an octopus? I don't know either, but boy can it play bingo!

You absolutely did the right thing. On two separate occasions I have had a stranger's medical records accidentally faxed to me. Two separate patient records misfaxed from two separate entities (one a hospital, one a general practitioner). I was mortified. Both sets contained SSNs, addresses and specified medical…

You did the right thing. You're awesome.

Here's what I tell you: As soon as you graduate, your grades don't matter. Get a degree, get a job, work your ass off, and nobody will care.

There are people in my program who are balancing school with demanding jobs and newborn babies and disabilities and I am just this dumb 23 year old with a shitty retail job who can't even handle 3 courses. I feel like an absolute fuck up who is throwing away my education and jeopardizing my odds at graduating on…

I got to visit Louise today. She comes home with me permanently in 2 weeks. She is one month old today. Her sharp teeth are coming in, and she is eating moistened and dry dog food.

It looks good. I used to do hair. Your hair wanted to be cut, trust me. Lookin' good, mama!

It's a very nice hair cut.

How does it feel? Did you cry when you chopped it off? Looks good.

This is how I feel right now:

I am officially on spring break and my introvert self is pleased because my sister is out of town and I get a whole week to myself. Also, my introvert self needs this whole week to prepare for the fact that when my sister comes back, her boyfriend and our parents will be staying with us for a week. In a 2 bedroom…