"Be cool. Don't be all, like, uncool."

Ehh...your heart is a bit asymmetrical, and you barely have a lung gap.

I JUST GOT THE NAME THING. Jaden, Jada; Willow, Will. HOW WAS I SO BLIND.

OMG THAT GUINEA PIG IS BLUE AND BLACK

DON'T HATE THE PLAYER, HATE THE #CONTENT GAME.

This is the most perfect distillation of late-90's/early-00's makeup I could possibly have imagined, and I love it so much. The dark lipliner under nude lipstick all slathered with super-shiny gloss. The shimmery, opaque jewel tone swath of eyeshadow. Copious blush. Glorious. In fact, it shouts "early 2000s" so…

With all poor Britney's been through, she looks 1000 times better today than Lindsay Lohan does, or ever will again.

Who's the real idiot at E?

I'm going to assume yes.

My (white) friend has the most magically curley giant hair (we legit use her as a meeting point in clubs it's so big) and sometimes i find myself smooshing it without asking her. I know i shouldn't. It must get so annoying. So so annoying. I think humans just like to touch different things.

But…

I'm not his mother and I think he looks handsome and professional!

A bunch of us older Millennials (1982 babies holla!) had that look, too.

I had to drop off my sons lunchbox once and I had clothes instead of my superman pajamas and the secretary at the school was like 'oh you have clothes?' My response was 'oh, you waxed your mustache and died your roots?' She hasn't said anything again. Just sayin. I'm not the one.

I work from home. Have going on four years. I have five pairs of pants that are not sweats, yoga pants or pajama pants. I easily have 15 pajama sets. I drive my kids to school every morning and go into the office once every three months. I'm 36, and my favorite time of year is when old navy, kohls and Burlington have…

BACK IN MY DAY WE WORE 3 SUIT JACKETS WHILE WATCHING TV AND WENT SWIMMING IN WEDDING DRESSES.

Macys is chronically on sale or clearance, so what ever

A guy named Yolo Swaggins is waiting for a trend to die. Okay.

i just watched the video and britney does an incredibly casual full 180-degree vertical high kick and i felt so inspired and sad

Ooh, please quit, Jamie Dornan. And then I hope they recast with someone absurd, like Donald Glover or Bryan Cranston. It's pretty much the only way I'd agree to watch any of these movies.

kim, kim, kim, we just covered this, not only do you need to buy those neutrogena wipes, you need to use them, too.