Last night, while I was watching this, it suddenly hit me, I LOVE MARTIN SHORT! I loved his jokes, his attitude, his little dance steps, his miming.

Another day, another reason to love Kristen Bell.

I love the internet. I really do. It's one of humanity's greatest inventions. Here we all are with nigh immediate access to virtually the entirety of human knowledge, at the push of a couple buttons. Want to know how internal combustion works? Google it. Want to know how to forge aluminum ingots and make stuff out of…

My mom still thinks the tramp stamp I got 17 years ago is henna that I keep getting redone. You believe what you want to believe.

I made my husband think our baby was going to be a girl, when I knew I was having a boy.

Sometimes I feel like lies don't count as lies when the truth is nobody's business anyway.

Point:

It's not about her looks- she's a really pretty girl. It's the way she presents the whole package with the breathy voice, the go-go boots, kitty ears, sparkly booty shorts. Someone once commented that she's the human equivalent of a teacup Yorkie, which is hilarious and true. Right down to her boyfriend carrying her…

Chris Brown canceled a concert because of low ticket sales.

Dakota Johnson

Yeah, between his role in this mess and his role in Gone Girl, he seems like he may be a pretty decent guy afterall.

Yeah he's a good mediator.

As I was clicking through I just kept saying "not Gary, not Gary, not Gary."

It was Gary.

Women, Nationwide is NOT on your side.

You know, this is exactly the kind of shit that made Dawn my least favorite of the Babysitters. Not cool at all like fashionable junk-food addict artist Claudia.

Cathy Dollanganger: total anti-vaxxer.

"Taking a selfie with Jesus" sounds like a euphemism for someone dying.

you're the best thing i like about taylor

I mean, they could probably use the work.

100k to get almost raped by george costanza? no thanks.