Deadspin Writer Bad at Parsing Meaning From String of Words

We are not a country that actually believes in reciprocity. Once you’re convicted, we want that shit to FOLLOW you. Do your time, then wear it like a hairshirt for the rest of your life.

Yeah, Aspen. Until NOW, nobody had any idea how tough women have it in gaming. #Hero.

Hope you stretched before reaching that far.

So, Moonlighter: like Recettear? Better/worse/different?

Torch, you’re clearly forgetting that in the 80's, George Plimpton also hosted “Mousterpiece Theater” on the Disney Channel. Kids were hip.

Your notes suck.

Oh my god, just FUCK Pete Davidson already. He’s a manipulative asshole who openly uses his mental issues as a marketing ploy and actively indulges in his own worst tendencies. If we’re all very lucky, he’ll actually follow through on his thinly veiled threats this time, and remove himself from the gene pool.

Yeah, but you refer to your spouse as “the hubs” so who’s the real monster?

No. That is why he belongs in the Museum. And he’s all over it.

Yeah, when I think “Hall of Fame,” “Unexciting” is the first word I jump to.

Christ, Pete Davidson is a garbage person. He’s not funny, he’s a slow motion train wreck, and on top of whatever medically diagnosed issues he’s got (and is happy to tell you about on Weekend Update), he’s also obviously a rampant narcissist in the most self-destructive ways. The only upside about Pete Davidson is…

Well yeah. That’s the whole point of the joke. He’s got two working arms and legs, so could technically start for ANY team tomorrow. It’s only funny because the Bills QB situation sucks.

Pete Davidison has always been a garbage person with horrible ways of dealing with anything, and a pretty huge narcissistic streak. Did you know he’s fucked up in the head and takes medication for it? If you didn’t, just wait a minute, he’ll tell you during the next Weekend Update.

*Person. It’s just that one dude.

They would also score pretty much all the time, because dreadlocks on a white guy are also indefensible.

And yet you still managed it!

Weaksauce is actually Hamilton Nolan’s legal middle name.

Your Instagram (and Twitter, for that matter) experience is comprised ENTIRELY of the people you choose to interact with. So if you think Instagram is the worst, that’s mostly because your Instagram choices completely suck. You’re the worst.

I really love that this article completely undermines itself by the last graph.