He seems, thirsty. Also, insincere. Also, shoes without socks are gross.

“making love”

Tom Hiddleston IS.... Phoebe’s super-enthusiastic boyfriend Parker from that one episode of Friends.

Nope. Attraction to him still dead.

“This seems like a wise moment to address a sneaking suspicion that I batted away at first—inconceivable, given the physical specimen in front of me—until it became unavoidable: By most definitions, Tom Hiddleston is…uncool.”

I have read that whenever someone prefaces a statement with ‘to tell you the truth’ or some variation whatever follows is invariably a lie.

Awwww.

Tom is that good-looking guy that you can’t believe is single. And halfway through the first date you realize that there are many valid reasons that no one wants to date him.

I hate dudes like Hiddleston. There, I said it. I don’t need your Bolognese, I don’t need your quirky jokes, I don’t need you making me tea and I definitely don’t need your shoes without socks.

That can be construed the wrong way, though - a big, thick book like that might indicate an unhealthy interest in reading, even if it is Rand. (Sidenote: my mother, who was that rare combination of voracious reader and conservative Republican, absolutely hated her books simply because they were terribly written and…

your dad is 97?! how old are you? how old was your dad when you were born? isn’t 97 usually the age range of one’s grandparents?

If someone read the texts between my sister and I they’d be (1) amused because hey, we’re funny and (2) concerned.

which poster wrote that Bannon got the deal with the devil wrong? His painting still looks fabulous . . .

He looks like your best friend’s sweaty stepdad who’s into classic cars and Hooters.

A copy of the Art of War on the sparsely populated bookshelf is one of the signs that your boss is an asshole and will probably go down in flames within a couple years. Other Required Elements include a collection of porn on his office computer, a couple of bottles of booze in the “file cabinet” next to his desk, a…

Bannon looks like he smells like cigarettes and pee.

He’s corrupt in the most literal sense. He’s rotting from the inside out. He reminds me of the guy in MIB who was a swarm of bugs animating a poorly fit person suit.

I apologize, I took that too far. How about: Bannon should borrow the pancake makeup and trump should visit bannon’s barber and we might have two marginally acceptable old men to destroy our democracy.

We all know that asshole who walks around quoting The Art of War all the time because they think it makes them sound like a cool business person. We all hate that asshole.