You haven’t a thing to worry about until he starts looking like my cat, Larrymania..

That would be spectacular.

Shimmy shimmy ya shimmy yam shimmy ya

Hello everyone, my name is River and I smile a lot because I’m happy!

I’m officially done with the “she’s so flawed but she is the lesser of two evils” rhetoric. Cause, you know, I’m flawed. And you are flawed. And Bernie Sanders is flawed and Barack Obama is flawed and even Michelle Obama is flawed. But the difference between all of them and me--and probably you, is that they have all…

I think I’ve just chosen to walk away from a really good friend that helped me out in a big way; I’ve always felt loyal to her, but I know she wants to see Trump win because she hates the ACA. Nothing else matters to her. I feel sad about the whole thing. I’ve never lost a friend due to politics before.

Alex Jones thinks Sandy Hook was a hoax. He’s cruel and evil and fuck him, he’s a depraved being.

Y’all forgot to mention she has a body double. The woman that emerged from Chelsea’s apartment after Hillary’s fainting spell from pneumonia was not the real Hillary. I know this because my 22 year old nephew insists it’s so. He even had a PICTURE. From the INTERWEBS!!

Wow, I was jus a wee one back then but already knew I was gay and developed such a crush on her. Just seeing such an intelligent woman in the debates turned me on, and gave me hope. Now, twenty years later, Hills is giving me hope, and I feel that girl crush all over again because I’m really attracted to strong, smart…

Gay people are too fashionable to wear crocs. Ergo, if they wear crocs they’re not gay. /s

I was creating a tshirt design for a guy that owned a body shop where he only worked on classic cars. I have a mustang and told him I wanted to install shortie headers on the car and his head exploded. He said he wanted to marry me because I knew what they were. (Pretty low standards for a marriage proposal).

This image comes from a truly bizarre story. You can’t make this shit up.

I keep laughing at that “dry eyes” commercial because everyone knows Jen’s a pothead from way back. Jen, if you’re listening, go get some damn Visine. You’ll be fine.

I read over at The Inquisitr that the abuser was a man with two children. I know John Travolta has three, but one of them died. My money’s on Travolta.

Wait, I thought, according to millenials, the fallback for all the fuckups in the world were the baby boomers fault?

The people voting for 3rd party candidates should listen to Bernie; you’ve trusted him so implicitly before.

I had an instant connection with my girl Spanky when I met her at the dog pound. She was my first dog and she taught me so much. A friend described her as Buddha with a sweet, creamy filling. I miss her everyday. She’s one of the reasons I choose to believe the Rainbow Bridge is real.

Honey badger

Like does she have a photographer that takes her pic while she reads her email? Because that was no selfie, that’s just hubris.