"Kevin Smith still isn't retiring, is now making a shitty musical."
There, fixed that for you.

"Don't meddle in the time stream, or… um… bad CGI gargoyles will eat your head. Time's funny like that."

"Faithful to the comic book" and "filmable on the budget of a weekly primetime Fox show" is a pretty tall order.

That's grading on a serious curve there.

I love how Ebert carefully manages to get across the point that this could have been the most godawful movie ever made if Robin Williams had been allowed anywhere near it, without ever having to mention the name.

I'll go one further: Lyrics to Go was the track that converted me from "ew, rap is crap" to "holy shit what was I thinking, I gotta go buy a lot more of this and then apologize to everyone about how stupid I was."

Didn't downvote you for insulting comic books. But whining publically about downvotes? Yup, that gets you one. Sack up.

This is… a surprisingly good idea.

New Cage appears to have, um, been substantially reduced in at least one component.

Hey, "The Trial of the Incredible Hulk" wasn't that bad. Don't even mention it in the same breath as the Affleck abomination.

It's hard to see Fox ever relinquishing that one. Which is a pity, because while the "Marvel Universe" can do fine without the X-Men (not that they're not awesome, but they work just fine as a universe onto themselves), one without the core of Jack Kirby's characters is just a little bit sad.

Elba is 41 and carrying around a bit of extra weight these days. Sadly, I think the moment passed for him to be the Panther.

Huh, I'll cop to not knowing more than the "about the author" version of his biography: given the time of his brief military service and the general tenor of his notes on "Starship Troopers", Eisenhower Republican seemed like a safe assumption. Especially interesting to hear that tidbit about him and his first wife.

Eh, as much as it's fun to pile on a terrible author and flagellate ourselves a bit in the process, I wouldn't lose any sleep over it. The real moral of this story is unsurprising and obvious: 13-year olds have terrible taste. In everything. The cure for it is, thankfully, just to hold on a bit and stop being an…

This movie goes best in a double-feature with They Live: between the two of them you've basically got everything that was awesome about zero-budget early-90s trash cinema.

Spoiler: he can't.

Yes, yes, we all get it.  But it's still a fair cop: the side-mounted implants on the kids and the composed shot of all of the Cybermen all walking around the in catacombs were fairly obvious call-outs to "Best of Both Worlds" and "Q Who?" respectively.  Let's just say that once the reboot-universe Trek introduces the…

A Le Guin reference and a Stanislaw Lem reference in the same episode!  For a "scifi" show that often seems to exist in a wholly isolated universe from "sci fi" as the  rest of the human race knows it, this was oddly touching.

I adore Neil Young a lot, but just in case anyone's curious, his obsession with high-bitrate audio is complete nonsense:

I adore Neil Young a lot, but just in case anyone's curious, his obsession with high-bitrate audio is complete nonsense: