His official portrait should be one of those crying clown paintings on black velvet.

Sometimes violence IS the answer.

I'mma let you finish, but Wonder Showzen was the best puppet show of all time!

They don't know what they want. That's why they're still kids. 'Cause they're stupid.

Why aren't the characters in their 40s? Maybe they should change the name.

No, she wants to buck the trend of songs about Tigers on a gold leash.

I can't decide if my favorite part is that he thinks understanding the feelings of others is a superpower unique to him, or that he doesn't know the word for it.

I have a ball. Perhaps you'd like to bounce it.

Chief?

You're taking those quotes out of context, like when the liberal media used his charming descriptions of Obama as a "subhuman mongrel" and a "chimpanzee" to claim he's racist.

"Wait, people get shot in real life? Gosh, I must have sounded like a real jerk!"
- a grown man who was recently invited to the White House

Baby steps.

Yes. Without someone to verify that it's real, The Room might very well send one spiraling into madness.

It's like you've been reading my diary.

We were all just chicken.
Chip-chip-chip!

I want to see Tommy Wiseau interview Gallagher.

Well, what are you still doing here? Go watch it right now!

Don't forget the NES game! That was some sub-LJN shit.

This reminds me of back in college when you'd be a disgraceful red-faced lunatic who loses custody of his kids and has to apologize to yogurt. Ah, careless youth.

But no black people.