Getting him to perjure himself would be the easiest thing in the world, if that was all you wanted to do. Just say, "Obama got 365 electoral votes in '08, how many did you get?" There is a zero percent chance that he would answer that accurately.

As someone else once noted, "I swear if Trump randomly, like, tripped on a squirrel or something we'd find an old tweet of his saying only fat losers trip on squirrels."

How does it keep up with the news like that?

“You can do anything, the left will promote and understand and tolerate anything, as long as there is one element. Do you know what it is? Consent. If there is consent on both or all three or all four, however many are involved in the sex act, it’s perfectly fine, whatever it is. But if the left ever senses and smells…

I say, let Harvard have its football and academics. Yale will always be first in gentlemanly club life.

I never understood why so many things that are the dictionary definition of a game show are categorized as "reality shows".
I guess what I'm getting at is, motherfucker's a game show host.

She's got a rosy outlook.

A bit off-topic, but my favorite Weird Al lyric might be this from "The White Stuff":
"I love the filling most/ I rub it on my roast/ I mix it in with my coffee and spread it on my toast"

GRADE F MEAT
Mostly circus animals, some filler

You might even say we ate Uter, and he's in our stomachs right now!
Wait, scratch that one.

Your boyhood dream was to eat the world's biggest hoagie, and you did it at the county fair last year, remember?

Such a product does not exist, sir. I think you must have dreamed it.

Class after class of ugly, ugly children.

Mmm, free goo…

Someone recently posted a screenshot of the "Vitamin R" gag next to a screenshot of Fat Tony's rat-milking room, noting that it all makes sense now.

Well, define "real person."

See? If you'd never engaged in any physical activity in your life, you'd be able to do it no problem.

I think the switch was more due to David Cross's schedule than them deciding the character didn't work, but I agree that they pulled it off with aplomb.

I always found the Liz-is-unappealing jokes consistently hilarious, despite requiring a healthy suspension of disbelief.
"And get this, my gynecologist committed suicide!"

And if May loses the election, she has to put the flag back and sing the "I'm Very Sorry Song," unless she's in the No Song Zone, but if someone touched the Opposite Pole, the No Song Zone becomes the Song Zone, which they declare oppositely by not declaring it.
Then they all jump everywhere until someone finds the…