You should probably sue Conan O'Brien anyway.

Arnold does look like the first hot dog that was able to pass for human.

I was hoping it was about Trump. Every single news item about him should identify him as a millionaire.

The country's gone to hell since they started letting non-landowners vote.

Me? I do art heists.

Yeah, like two different people independently noticed that "sac" can mean scrotum. You sound like a crazy person!

Look, Maggie, they have a baby too. It's like they saw our lives and put it right up on screen.

Why do people hate lawyers? They often manipulate the law to enrich themselves in an unethical fashion!

Woozle wuzzle?

Everybody Loves Raymond…. EXCEPT ME, I THINK HE SUCKS!

There's a thousand and one uses for that handy-dandy Black Label Bacon!

60.

Couldn't they get someone who actually likes this show to review it?

This show made me dislike Jennifer Coolidge, which is kind of impressive.

Sorry, super-old man.

My boys need to breathe.

Leonard Cohen

"Pretty far outside The A.V. Club’s usual demographic" my eye!

"You can tell I'm a living legend, not some ordinary creep."

7'3" with the afro.