"Oh come on, all old people steal!"
"Yes, that's why we stopped carrying batteries."

And now for a little magic. I'll make this jug of wine disappear.

See also: Lulu from Final Fantasy X

I suspect Triana will return late in the evening, smelling suspiciously of cloves.

There's a television behind the el grecho. Sadly, the remote has VANISHED FROM THE MATERIAL SPHEEERE. So it's stuck on animal planet.

(stock traditional Italian music)

Yarrrrrrr matey, these jokes about Sheldon's social awkwardness be trite and predictable, says I.

The Final Countdown from 666

Obama summons Mr. Meseeks to fix Congress.

Best one I've seen is the Colbert episode where they're in some British car from the 60s with an all hardwood interior and Colbert imagines a tiny British mouse in the glove compartment running everything

"What's the deal with Obamacare? It's not caring for Obama! You're covered already!"

legit don't know what episode this is from

Remember when he was running for President and he said something about arugula at a grocery store and that was supposed to be evidence that he was elitist and out of touch because arugula is, apparently, like fancy person lettuce or something?

In all of Del… Visto Baco?!

I have a great relationship with the Omicronians. Just a tremendous relationship.

There it is, Miss Universe
There it is, lookin' weeeeeeird

Stephen, serving eggnog without nutmeg is like serving turkey without a chicken and a duck inside of it

Yeah, but now we can digitally edit all of his old interviews so that he says that he loves Star Wars and would do anything for the franchise. Problem solved!

Oh just rebuild it?! You got an ATM on that torso lightbright?

Luke's not A New Hope, he was around the whole time. Maybe Obi-Wan should have gotten his ass out of the Junland Wastes earlier