Hey, they reached the lofty heights of 3-5 last night!

In the criminal justice system of Chicago, there are three separate yet equally important parts. The police who investigate crimes, the district attorneys who prosecute the offenders, and The Blues Brothers, who are on a mission from God.

All of Chicago's issues with violence stem from it's stubborn refusal to hire a 2nd police officer.

"Somebody just returned a DVD, but they put it in the book slot instead of the A/V Media slot!"
"My God. This city gets worse every day."

!!!

Talking like the Superfans. I've heard exactly 2 people talk like that in real life, both of which were talk radio hosts.

"I really think I should stay and help out on my uncle's moisture farm!"
"Oh, certainly not, your farm-chlorian count is almost zero!"

Man, this comment is fleetingly brief. How many other trains was he planning on hitting with lightsabers?

Yes, but what's he doing in SeaWorld, which if I'm not mistaken, is where the Grayjoys live?

Who is driving oh my god Otto is driving how can this be

Featuring a cartoon by Reince Priebus

This happens on a micro-scale with Jeckyll, which is only six episodes in total. The first 2-3 episodes are a pretty fun modernization of the whole Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde concept, and by the end it is way the hell off the rails.

A Frankenstein made from parts of Morty Seinfeld and the guy from Pete and Pete

He showed up on a bunch of TVs at the end, which doesn't necessarily mean he's alive (although he probably is).

Would have also accepted Craig's List

I expect another Newswire article if he ends up having to eat the coloring book

Can't watch this at the moment. Just let me know, is it more or less uncomfortable than when Mitt Romney said, "Who let the dogs out?" when taking a photo with a bunch of black people?

Apparently it was a common theory in medieval Christendom before, you know, archaeologists went inside them and said, "Oh, okay, there's people buried in here. That solves that."

He's from an especially dangerous splinter faction of the Sith where you get assigned two first names when you become a Sith Lord

Wait, toddlers aren't interested in cameras panning slowly across pictures of old-timey baseball players? I gotta brush up on some stuff before I have kids…