The elevators go up all the way to the top floor, but nobody ever actually gets past floor 50 or so because of throttling.

Call it, friendo Birdo

He vows to build the Matlock expressway and make Mexico pay for it.

—Jim Carrey, probably

These haters can't hold me back*

Guessing it got points for having the decency to not run any longer than a scant 93 minutes

But what if they actually killed Stephen Baldwin? I wouldn't have noticed.

Tonight on Iron Chef, the challenger will be psychiatrist and part-time chef Dr. Hannibal Lecter, and Iron Chef Bobby Flay will serve as both his opponent and, as it turns out, the secret ingredient.

We'll face burnin' roads, rivers exploding, calculators transformed into Scud missiles!

EYECLOPS DEMANDS THAT YOU ENTER THE PRODUCT CODE FROM THE BACK OF YOUR CD CASE

IN 2019
SOME OTHER CITY MIGHT FALL, IT DEPENDS ON BOX OFFICE RETURNS AND DVD SALES OF THE LONDON ONE

I hope this movie covers how Steve Jobs single-handedly developed the technology to store music on portable electronics.

BUD
WEISS
ERRR
(eats fly)

No, but he is mad at the EPA for mandating that cars need to get at least 40 rods to the hogshead

There was also that time Romney stood for a photo with a bunch of black people and all he could think to say was, "Who let the dogs out?"

It's very, very rare that any politician's attempt to prove that they're hip does not end in completely disaster

Lousy Lass-month weather

Thanks Mecha-Obama

What if he just destroyed the tablet because he was angry about not being able to read it?

"Get ready to spend two hours on the edge of your seat! …..Because you'll constantly almost want to get up and leave, but you'll never actually quite reach that point!"