Maybe if he'd studied a little harder he'd be Dr. Dolphin

This is exactly what I was afraid of—that they'd completely change the whole aesthetic of the game instead of just making everything look and sound slightly prettier.

Keep me searchin for a heart of cabbage

Finally, you'll feel like you're REALLY playing pop-a-shot basketball at a sketchy arcade!

The cleanup on those things is a nightmare.

If I had a pumpernickel for every bad pun thread in these comment sections…

The first one definitely holds up, because it's more just a straight parody of a 60s spy movie and hadn't yet totally devolved into just "What if we put Mike Meyers in a fat suit and he farted a lot? That's funny, right?"

Michael Keaton is no more…

He speaks English but he can't not speak it good like we do

If I hadn't heard this and somebody just asked me, "Who said 'I cannot sanction your baffoonery'?" with no other hints than that, I'd probably guess Principal Skinner. Hilarious.

"Even if his brain wasn't mush, which it is, he ate his own tongue long ago."

How's that game gonna help your putting?

He was a warboy in Fury Road

Jerry my rods and cones are all screwed up!

bad 90s hair + moo-moos

There was an account that predated Modern Seinfeld called SeinfeldStories that did basically the same bit, except they actually executed it well. I think that's part of the reason why someone created Seinfeld2000 to make shit out of them—they stole somebody's idea and made it worse

E-mail me if you wanna pizza roll

Your Jedi Mind Tricks Won't Work on Me, Internet

what if Jar Jar is the Minotaur, because reasons

If Plinkett made a kickstarter asking for 20 bucks to record himself saying "WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR FAAAACE?!" for 2 hours straight, I'd much sooner crowdfund that than this thing