GJI can only survive by kidnapping and leeching off the blood of Wiki Wormhole

When I first heard this song when I was like 7 it bothered me greatly that King Tut was not actually born in Arizona and Steve Martin was lying to me about pharaohs.

I live! I die! I live again! PHANTOM ZOOOOONE!

My new album drops next Siursday, y'all biscuitheads. —Peacey P

This is the most public yet of my many humiliations

Yo' face is my case

Remember when a Presidential election briefly became all about all-around everyman Joe the Plumber, who turned out to be

YES THE SITH DESERVED TO DIE AND I HOPE THEY BURN IN HELL

"Michael, now you truly are The Godfather. Part II."

Where are the cameras?

There were a couple of minutes in the second act where no one was being shot, run over, set on fire, or having their blood stolen. Just a couple, though.

"My sandwich! Has it also appreciated in value?"
"Ya didn't even refrigerate it ya spineless lobster!"
"You had to drag spines into this!!"

The A.V. Club
To me friendship means that for two dollars I beat you with a pool cue until you've got detached retinas

"Are we gonna let ourselves get beaten by The Dissolve?"
"Yes, my liege!"

Hey! You ate my change! (shakes cat)

Also I move that my cat smells nice and is pretty.

"Hold on. Scruffy votes his 4,000 shares for the mysterious stranger."
"How do you have so much more stock than the rest of us?"
(sheds tear) "Scruffy believes in this comp'ny!"

Also not ask any bakeries to make a cake with "Frodo & Sam 4ever" on it

Actor Clearly Just There to Get Paid (347,143 movies)

If Netflix ever rebooted Alf, the advertising tagline would pretty much have to be, "Remember Alf? He's back, in Netflix form", right?