How did Washington’s lawyers gain access to my browser history?

Also not a good look. Shitting all over someone else’s joke that was understood to be a joke by everyone but you.

Have we ruled out that he was just mad because the assistant wouldn’t sleep with his daughter?

The pictures become even sadder when you realize that all of those people get their stock tips from Lenny Dykstra.

The Mountain that Rides Up Your Ass

^ Chelsea fan.

Asked how he knew what it felt like to be a slave, Williams said he used to have one black friend.

I grew up in South Carolina so I think I’ve got a good handle on what does and does not constitute being a slave. Something about making at least $8 million over 12 years, not including endorsement deals, doesn’t really strike me as slavery. Suck it up, dude, and while you’re at it pick up my fucking club.

Oh, God...

I don’t really like her and I absolutely loathe her music, but that is seriously fucking hilarious. A+.

Katy Perry was literally a “mic drop.”

This kid writes like he’s going to be a washed up NFL punter in 10 years...

And finding his dick.

He literally didn’t make the payments into the pension fund, and he sold the rights to manage those funds to high fee managers. That’s all on him.

I just about soiled myself when he said that. Bastard.

Actually he prefers McDonald’s strawberry banana smoothies

Another way Chris Christie regulates risk is through Pepto Bismol

All you need to know about Chris Christie is that he had the balls to say this during the debate last night:

The only way Chris Christie regulates risk is by taking the escalator.

Gee, that wouldn’t have anything to do with NJ’s push for legalized sports books, would it? (from 10/14/15)