I guess at 73 you cease having fucks to give about that sort of thing.

Allahu Bikerbar?

They couldn't be in a better place. Loud pipes save lives.

Yes lets have all news just be local. We dont need to know what is happening in other parts of the country.

How high was your rank in chess club?

How do you lose a football game 1-0?

“Sooner or later”???

I never thought I would see the day where I would think Porn is degrading to women.

“The commenters outside looked from feminist to troll, and from troll to feminist, and from feminist to troll again; but already it was impossible to say which was which.”

You should def watch “The Wiz” the movie in case this is caca

I FUCKING LOVE THE WIZ THEY BETTER NOT FUCK THIS SHIT UP

I probably had the cutest girlfriend in all of sixth grade.

Why should the prosecution be entitled to a do-over?

Can you rank the following: The Wire, Breaking Bad, Lost, getting hit by a bus, and The Sopranos? Asking for a friend.

Alan, why haven’t The Big Bang Theory and Modern Family been archived at The Hague for use in future tribunals?

Well, I almost always order extra meat when that’s a reasonably priced option. So yes.

Do you feel that Cop Rock was just too ahead of its time and that people weren’t ready for it?

You’re the organizer for an outdoor concert that will host 50,000 spectators over the course of two days. How many porta potties do you get for it (assuming you’re on a budget)?

Somebody contact the MacArthur Foundation, because this is genius.

It’s nearly impossible to make out what exactly is going on, but the fight ends with one guy getting thrown into a glass door and another guy knocked out on the sidewalk.