[Ti West writes a dessicated corpse orgy scene just to spite you.]

I dunno, when you get down to it it’s simple: when you peel away everything else Shiv is ultimately, like all her siblings, a spoiled brat. Sure, she can have any lawyer in the world — but she wants these lawyers, and is furious that someone has dared to prevent her from having what she wants.

And because I love those synths:

Netflix’s first Murder Mystery could charitably be read as a Knives Out parody

Nah it wouldn’t. We need to get over this whole “the supervillain deserves their own movie!” thing IMO. None of them have really been that good, most of them basically just become “superhero-but-a-bit-more-willing-to-kill and make smug quips” movies, and for all the hand-wringing the only reason Joker sticks out is…

It looks like the most Wes Anderson thing that ever Wes Andersoned. I’m not sure how I feel about that, but I did chuckle when Jason Schwartzmann forgot how to speak when the subject of Scarlett Johansson’s nude scene came up, so I’m in.

Chris Pine appeared in a certain movie last year that (spoiler alert) was ultimately about men escaping from their shitty real lives and going into a fantasy world, and while it was kind of a bad thing in that movie, Pine is now arguing that—separated from a misogynistic VR world or whatever—that kind of thing is…

I enjoyed The Batman overall, but holy Christ on a pogo stick did The Batman need some disciplined editing, on both a storytelling and time-length level. It’s like they’ve told a whole movie to the point of wrapping it up only for them to suddenly realise “Hang on, fuck, we’ve totally forgotten to resolve the plot…

I’ll take “they’re a bunch of emotionally stunted power-crazed assholes who find it near-impossible to relate to another human being on a level which doesn’t involve besting them in some kind of zero-sum competition and then pettily lording it over them” for $500.

I just assume that John Wick is — as this slideshow clearly demonstrates — so pants-wettingly effective at making people dead that when he decided to go by Baba Yaga no one felt like arguing the point. Sort of like:

I deleted mine when the news that Musk was taking over first broke, though to be honest it would have probably carried a lot more water if I’d actually ever used it for anything since 2011.

[Looks up from his gimmick account]

Okay, seriously AV Club, exactly how much longer are you going to keep pushing this article on me whenever I reach the bottom of a page? I get it, people are pissed over the Naatu Naatu performance, but it’s been a goddamn week now, surely something else has happened in the world of entertainment.

He’s clearly making a joke about the format of the show, and the whole point of his anecdote is to point out how his thought processes about the nature of acting changed once he had to start doing it seriously (he wasn’t trained as an actor, he got his start as a writer and stand-up). I dunno, seems like we’re just…

Alongside everything else, why would you make a spin-off about Eleven? She’s literally the main character of the show already. It would be like making a Cheers spin-off about Sam Malone running a bar and flirting with women.

And they still haven’t figured out who killed the chauffeur.

Knight, who created Blinders and gave the world Hot Scrooge in 2019’s Christmas Carol,

That sounds more like a marketing slogan for an eco-friendly quilt.