Seriously- My wedding felt medium-sized at 60 people- I'd say anything larger than a normal house party can get an invite for all bachelor party attendees.

Yeah, that's insanely rude and while I don't think she should back out this late in the game I can't believe she hasn't already said something just in confusion- "Wait, you asked Dave to throw the bachelor party? So he's invited to the wedding now?" Or something along those lines.

That's not terribly helpful to the person asking advice, though.

Yeah, the "you're not invited but hey can you spring for a party" is bullshit. The best man is in charge of throwing the party. If he invites the boyfriend to said bachelor party with the understanding that everybody kicks in X amount for drinks or whatever, that's one thing; the boyfriend can decide whether to go or…

She said the boyfriend and his buddies are planning the bachelor party. I took that mean the LW was being a little disingenuous and the buddies were in the wedding party and doing the planning. Maybe the LW's BF just sort of insinuated himself and nobody else in the social group likes him. Maybe he's an asshole or…

But isn't a long term boyfriend/girlfriend the same as a clearly committed partner?

Exactly. EXACTLY!

My suspicion is that there's something else going on, either the bride/groom don't like the bf, they don't take the relationship seriously, don't think the relationship is going to last, etc because after 5 years, it's either a solid relationship or a rut relationship.

Even if it is the gift, it's still mighty generous, and along with the bachelor party expectation she has every right to be irritated.

Personally, of all of my friends and I (in our thirties) there are like, two married couples. Most of the rest of us have just been shacking up forever and aren't so marriage minded, but are committed regardless.

I would at least ask for an explanation because that is NOT COOL.

My thoughts *exactly.* A relationship of 5+ years is a partnership. And then when you add in the favor of baking the cake? Dude. DUDE. (I feel extra sensitive in this area because my chosen career is one where I also have people coming to me ALL the fucking time asking for "favors" that they just expect me to do shit…

That is why I think entitled is the right word. They are depending on this couple for a party, and a cake. They have a right to ask wtf?

I mean this as nicely as possible, but what a shitty policy. In 2014, there are a lot of us who aren't jumping right into marriage— I've got plenty of friends who have been with their partners for 5 or 10 years, own homes together, have families (pet, children, and otherwise), and everything else.

I realize that…

Maybe he's the racist from item 3?

I get not giving everyone a plus one, but I think that if it is a committed relationship sitch, then the ring shouldn't matter. They've been together five years! I'm hoping they would have fallen into your case by case basis :)

Re: Question 3 - I don't know, IMHO, it's pretty rude to invite one half of a married couple and not the other half to a party that's not explicitely confined to a small subset of people (Girls' Nights, Junior Varsity Rugby Team Reunions, whatever.) I'd be friendship-ending pissed if I received an invitation to a…

Re LW3:

I think the boyfriend throwing the bachelor party, but not being invited to the wedding, is a little strange. I've never heard of someone being involved in actual planning of those events not even being able to go to the wedding (I mean, that's a wedding-party-member responsibility, really) and I think it's a little…

Did they photoshop those stretch marks in there because they weren't there in her first photo? I also love how they are only strategically placed on the right side where the text is. RIGGGGHTT!!!