DED. I AM DED.

Deer Hooman; pls to b continnu 2 tell me teh stroiez of da gooshy noms. U is ok wif me.

I would totally take that fruit bat over Juan Pablo.

And don't forget, gays are perverts and shouldn't be allowed on TV.

I would love to go on a reality show to compete for a fruit bat's undying affection.

WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! The same Juan Pablo who thought that the woman inviting him for a romp in the ocean SET A BAD EXAMPLE FOR HIS DAUGHTER?!?!?

I came in like a wiffle ball...

P.S. I should probably explain something - in an earlier post I said that reactions such as yours were the new form of bigotry (similar to the new use of "thug"). I realize that that's not necessarily so, and I don't want to imply that here - some people are well-meaning but underrate the amount of bigotry that's…

Ideally, it wouldn't, but yeah, it does.

Well, the anti-mugging/robbing tips are often rather simple and based in reality: Lock your purchases in your trunk instead of leaving your Best Buy bags in plain view in the back seat; don't leave your purse in your shopping cart while you browse the aisles; take only one credit card with you;.

Well, for one thing many of these tips aren't based in reality. I mean, look at the ones about dress and hairstyle. Rapists are usually someone the victim knows who uses that trust to get them alone and vulnerable. They don't need to be able to grab a ponytail. And for those stranger rapists out there, they generally…

Can you describe the distinction, then? Because to me, the situations are almost wholly analogous.*

(his ex wife, who is 55, is rumored to live in solitude in a monastery)

It almost seems that she mentioned Rosie's past to imply that her personal experience blinds her to the truth.

Wow, me neither. I mean I barely got through my own. It sucked. Does anyone watch their friends' movies? Other than people's mothers?

Yeah, I didn't share my video since it has pictures of my ex-husband in it. I'd rather not remember that asshole, thanks.

HAHAHA I am laughing so hard right now. Oh LAWD, you win. Hands down.

I have a confession to make. I am a bad, bad, bad facebook friend. I haven't watched one of them. I know, I know - who'd have thought I could resist those endless slide shows of selfies and cat memes and fun times with out of focus food? Face it people, your lives are not as fascinating as you think they are.

Yeah, one of my most-liked status updates was a picture of a giant roach I killed. Imagine my joy when, with a particularly dramatic swell of the music, the roach appeared between pictures of my best friend's wedding and a picture of the San Francisco skyline.