Yeah....but....sleepy. So sleepy/

I just laughed so hard I farted.

Today, we're covering poop, car washes, bread, orgasms, and more.

Just cleaned up after a quick fap, what was Bradley's problem again?

Bradley: I had this same situation. you now have a live in girlfriend. she wants to keep it casual huh? try bringing a date home in the next few weeks. see how casual she is about that.

How do you not mention the single actual use for the panic button? Finding your car in a large parking lot.

12 times per month? When did we go to a 20-month calendar?

"Haushka isn't really dancing". If I may speak on behalf of the average middle aged white dude, that is dancing

[clicks video]

Seriously, though - how the hell does this even happen? Did he just lie to the trainers/coaching staff and tell them he had his contacts in? To what end? Do the Cavs have the most incompetent medical staff in the history of organized sports? I MUST KNOW.

Russell Wilson reacts via Twitter: Damn, they got my Caucasian...

Time to give it up Marshawn, you CANNOT teach the white players to be blacker.

Isn't that the same thing that got that pickup artist in trouble in Australia?

I'm dying +9/11

If Beast Mode was any more aggressive, this would have been a Jezebel article.

Pete Carroll (walking over to Lynch and Hauschka): You know who else was ready to ride? The 9/11 hijackers, if they actually existed.

If Beast Mode wants you to dance, you dance.

It looks as if Marshawn is trying to get Steven to taste the rainbow.

You can tell when Hauschka looks over about two seconds into this that he immediately regrets choosing that side of the bench.

Not surprisingly, Beast Mode's favorite movie is "The Pianist"