Shouldn't we just call this "The Andy Dalton Corollary"?

Happens all the time.

I've had a killer headache and my hands/feet have felt kinda weird ever since

If it weren't his actual, legal name I wouldn't use it either. Like, when I look up his court docket information I have to search for "Machine, War."

What a fucking piece of shit.

Brett Favre knew to not throw into triple coverage three times in one game.

As a Bears fan, I'm hard-pressed to even think of anyone I know that would actually have a Cutler jersey to burn.

Obviously Damon got a gander at it numerous times last night while I was sandwiched in between them in my dreams. PS, The Porn Identity. Good Willy Hunting. We Bought A Zoo And Had Sex With Matt Damon. OKAY, I'm done.

These two should make and freeze an embryo or two. If they end up with other people, they can auction off the prettiest babies in the world.

What do you think are Jennifer's tactics for helping a friend get over an ex?

A more fitting tribute would be to sell them by the half-dozen at a yard sale with a sign that reads "Pick Six".

Never thought I would say this as a Bears fan, but can we have Kyle Orton back?

When asked why he allowed the Packers to score 55 points, Jay simply responded by taking a drag from his cigarette.

While I agree that the defense should get the lions share of the blame, what do you expect when the offense keeps going three and out or turning the ball over. Cutler has one of the best groups of skill position guys in the league, and can't score a single point until garbage time? Has any quarterback in recent…

Hate it when my team's quarterback allows a division rival to score 55 points.

Because without Israel, we don't have a country. And if we don't have our own country, no one has to give a fuck about us. And since anti-Semitism is still going strong (for example, see the attacks on stores owned by Jews in France during Operation Protective Edge, or the protesters that kept an Israeli ship from…

The idea is that there needs to be a Jewish homeland since Jews have been systematically persecuted for thousands of years. It's probably not an easy thing to understand if you aren't from a group like that. Just imagine that all of a sudden people might decide you didn't deserve to exist and you get fired from your…

And we're still doing this shit - giving "equal representation" in talk-show debates and the like to an "other perspective" that's arguing for teaching creationism in schools or for eschewing vaccinations, as though those are perfectly reasonable alternative viewpoints. Voluntarily giving a podium to horrible people…