The toes you step on today may be attached to the ass you have to kiss tomorrow.

He probably tells his tailor he’s 6'3.

Just here for the comments:

“Sure is. But also, fuck Austin Rivers, so the Rockets players will all split a one game suspension between them.” - Adam Silver

There is literally zero chance he does anything other than sign with the Pats, rest until the afc championship game and proceed to go batshit and sack Ben six times

I possibly haven’t made this clear previously, but I hope Donald Trump and his foul brood all die in a fire, and preferably screaming.

Who are these magical motherfuckers who WIN the arguments in their head? I always feel like an asshole and drown in a handle of vodka afterward.

It’s almost certainly rising up out of the drain, for all the reasons you describe.

You know, I may not always agree with you, but your articles are always well thought out and genuine, not to mention you are demonstrably great to people, even when they give you reason not to be. Just wanted to say that you’re awesome.

I’ll tell you what I do enjoy though; I like coming to I09 and reading about all the cool new stuff coming out, or the BtS info on movies and shows, or the articles about scientific progress.

There are a lot of decaffeinated brands that taste just as good as the real thing.

Yeah? I should have kids? I’m in my mid 30s, unmarried, don’t own a home, and I’m still paying off extensive student loans. You fuckers have made it impossible for this generation to afford anything, and yet you think we should procreate so we can, what, have a new generation of struggling poors?

I think this is more common than you think. In Boston, every time the camera catches someone drinking Coke, they pan up to Reggie Lewis’ jersey hanging from the rafters.

Omigod, I cannot BELIEVE the lack of basic education around here! Listen up, sonny, and let ol’ DantleyDeathGlare school you on a thing or two about Coach Wooden and his UCLA basketball Bruins:

I don’t know how I can take 3 more years of this. I am so tired. I am weary in my bones.

“This question is for candidate Lynch. What do you plan on doing to balance the budget if elected?”
“Thanks for aksin”

You seem like someone who has good takes and is fun at parties. Please DM me your info so I can invite you to my next party.

This is definitely going down as one of my favourite moments in modern history.

The “fuck it I have a spare moment for a mini UK Update” update: