"Watch as the female rolls her eyes at the errant fuckboy."

Next week should be a server's revenge post to serve as a catharsis for this.

When I was in high school, I used to frequent a coffee shop in my town. One day, one of the cooks came to find me. "There's a guy outside whose motorcycle broke down," she said. "Are you going to <local town>? He needs a ride."

Better late than never, and most definitely should've posted this story sooner but here it goes. I do promise this will make you smile.

I spent an incredibly surreal Father's Day dinner seated with my parents at a table next to OJ Simpson, his older daughter, the two kids he had with Nicole Brown, his mother, and some girlfriend that was probably younger than his oldest daughter.

I vividly remember the only time I went dress shopping (yes, some straight guys have a sense of style/fashion too and I have a thing for wedding dresses) and was a bit surprised when I didn't get kicked out.

PHASE I: VIDEO GAMES

It looks like a sunburned penis wrapped in a deep-fried vulva.

This may never be seen down in the greys, but my mother is the least fashion/hair/makeup conscious person alive. She's had the same hairstyle my whole life and the same stick of cream blush since her wedding more than 30 years ago. She rocks it, but let's just say that when it came to teaching her daughter the basics…