I figured someone was growing a shoe tree nearby and the area had a storm. Not all tree owners harvest their trees properly, some wait too long and the fruit starts dropping like dead birds.
And holy shit do dead birds drop. I watched one spiral around in the air before going to an outside loop and flying straight into…

Finally, a reasonable explanation to give the people who ask why I keep a jar of peanut butter next to the toilet.

Now this, THIS is a lifehack!

This can’t be for real - and if it is it can’t be healthy. So, now you have a happy clean dog who’s going to have the sh*ts for days because he was licking a soapy shower wall for 30 minutes?

as a person of color who has worked around and with hipster types most of my career... the word “sketch” is the most passive racist word in ya’lls vocabulary

Is an inductive pickup a heavier or lighter duty truck than a regular pickup?

Asking for a friend.

Does this really detect gas pump skimmers, or is it some hacker’s clever way crowdsourcing their work? It would not be too difficult to have this app not only detect the skimmer, but also collect the data and send it back home.

That wasn’t the answer, it was part of a list of all of the options.

“Get a lover or lovers without his consent.”

If you’re really smart, before a disaster, just keep boiling it until you have dehydrated water, and then use that instead. /s

Showing up for a funeral isn’t really a prerequisite for getting an inheritance.

Maybe she’ll start carrying those dog doo baggies with her?

We’re just not as into you as you’re into you.

Sometimes, I found it effective if I said something kind of silly that made them stop and wonder what I was talking about. I was with my Nieces, and they were being loud, so I said if they wanted to yell, do it quietly. They all stopped so I could demonstrate. They found it so silly they decided to try it. You just…

I don’t know if you’re being snarky or not, but thats a service that Tom (aka the author here) actually provides for a reasonable asking fee.

or smaller bags.

Say it’s like...2am and you just happen to have like 14 tabs open at once and they’re all loading, say, video. Is there a way to auto kill the loading for all tabs so you can manually refresh each one and thus not totally overload your system?

Interesting. I’m going to just leave this open for awhile and come back to it later.

Do not mistake your vanilla indecision for passion split just too many ways.

Too many tabs just overwhelms me and causes anxiety. So, because I am both OCD and a moron, my fix is to open six or seven different Chrome windows, all with a handful of tabs related to a specific subjects. From there, it’s so much easier to navigate my work, porn, NBA, news, and wrestling links (note - not listed…