In High School when The Day After first came on TV a teacher had us watch it then talk about it the next day. I still have chills recalling that movie. This was circa 1983.

If only there had been a good guy with a drink.

Note: this joke assumes drink in question was a White Russian. Carry on.

What do you expect? He wasn't about to cry over it.

Slightly nutty flavor...

Police received an anonymous tip which described the suspect as "someone who really hates Mondays"

"I can't believe it worked"

Baby, if you don't mind, I'll take the stairs.

My favorite comment, as reported by Today this morning:

One more CRAY-Z headline, and Solange is going to jump out of the mirror; and fuck you up.

Crazy in Love? More like Crazy In-Law! Amirite?!?
Solange was Drunk In-Law!!

DESTROY ALL THE POO!

WAIT!!! You missed the best part!!!

back it up and dump it

New York's hottest club is Garbage Alley. This place has everything: bummers, little sores, and Steve Hickeys, where you can sit by in gleeful judgment while eight gay guys take a dump on your bed.

Hickey told "Talking Points Memo" that he was "a little sore" and kind of bummed...

"is it OK for, you know, eight of your friends that you're in love with to take a dump in your bed and then you can sleep in it all year long?"

Question: Who doesn't wash their sheets? For a year?!?
Answer: Steve Hickey

I wish all homophobes were this ridiculous. This guy makes it so easy to laugh my ass off (so to speak) instead of cry at the prevalence of homophobia. Also,"Your Butt Is a Garbage Alley" reminds me of a John Mayer song. And I will never stop cracking (heh) up now.