surely you can’t be serious

hello

we regret to inform you that marco rubio is trapped in a nautilus

ONLY MARCO RUBIO IS ENOUGH RAW, CONCENTRATED MAN TO TURN OFF YOUR CAPS LOCK

You magnificent bastards.

You misspelled “to annoy the crap out of the homers who are trawling this poll desperately trying to find their alma mater.”

I see what you did there.

Do we know that a majority of black people find this “not racist”? I don’t think we have enough (or any, really) data.

I mean, people clearly find it offensive (such as the author of the article). This doesn’t mean everyone does.

I think it’s important to draw the distinction between the allure article and the way people do their hair.

I feel like GM needs to post this link every goddamn day.

seriously just walk around making clicking noises people

I am shocked that a deadspin blogger hates optimism and loves the Grinch.

It’s a nice sentiment. But here’s the reality: You’re not going anyplace special, because the world doesn’t care about you. Where you are going is: into bankruptcy, crushed under mountains of student debt. Into a short stint of cultural-disaster tourism via Teach for America, where your idealism will be beaten out of…

this isn't where we list the real fears right

i’ve never seen that much dick on a stud before

“missing dishes”

As someone who bought an illustrated edition of the Hobbit on the off chance that I would read it to offspring which I do not intend to have, I approve this comment.

Thanks!

I have the opposite problem - I’m a “too-fast” runner.

Let me explain. I’m a 6’2” guy. I am in not-great shape, especially cardio-wise. I lift regularly and am seeing results but whenever I try to go running I feel caught between a rock and a hard place. My natural running stride is long and loping, and it feels good…