But they are worried about planes not people.

You wouldn’t really expect to see a big cat blowing a dog whistle.

“Hockey isn’t your thing.”

Something tells me you won’t need to worry about anyone talking to you...

Syria getting bombed less than three months after the inauguration is kinda like how -40 is the same in Celsius and Farenheit.

[Tim Tebow hits a home run]

Furiously downloading the SeekingArrangement app.

At least they were honest about the reason. In my house, it’s usually a “headache.”

So weird, Cleveland doesn’t have a professional football team either.

Are you kidding? That guy was terrible.

+25.75 APR

This is a good one.

Mom: Okay Derrick, make sure you’re washed up before dinner.

Sitting on that has got to hurt your BACK BACK BACK.

“Well he could have slipped and fell on a bullet! It could happen!”

As a Raps fan I would love nothing more than for Ross to continue putting his body on the line for game destroying dunks. When he inevitably slams a tomahawk jam down on the Knicks in the first round of the playoffs and explodes into a ball of ash and flame I will scream out my praises while Phiiilllll clutches his…

I wish I could blame 360 dunks on my sore wrist problem.

So are humans. Please neuter yourself and spay your wife.

You forgot walking on water, curing the sick, bringing some guy named Lazarus back from the dead and resurrection.