Why, yes they do...

There are only two reasons why I would be remotely interested in Katy Perry.

Lemme guess...applying for Bieber's PR team, right?

I was going to suggest he 'prank' Justin Bieber next, but then I realized Justin Bieber has to live with the fact that he's Justin Bieber...that in itself is punishment enough.

Yeah, but it's much more fun imagining Jesus saying the 11th Commandment like Samuel L. Jackson...

I always find it amusing when 'Christians' use their faith to get out of tipping.

Just as much as you can count on teabaggers to say something completely idiotic in defense of Sarah Palin.

Kleptonado?

I feel like I should be insulted, but seeing as you have no clue what you're talking about, I just chalk it up to 'Internet Tough Guy Syndrome...'

Also; Spider Jerusalem probably wouldn't hang out with you...more than likely, he would have turned the bowel disruptor on you and given you a serious case of rectal…

Oh, you are awful...but I like you...

*SLOW APPLAUSE*

Back in 2005, I worked at the Parker Palm Springs as a bartender, where I had many a bizarre celebrity encounter.

Person incapable of a relationship offering relationship advice....

You do a lot of speaking before thinking. Quoting statistics does not an expert make.

10 Points for a well used Liz Phair reference...

Reading this makes me sad, because someone wasted a night of good fucking to produce this sorry excuse of a wasted orgasm.

There are not enough porkpie hats being worn these days. We need more of those.

Awwww....did I hurt your widdle feelings and make you all sad?

You know what?