Whatever Deadspin/Gawker Media is paying Burneko, he needs to be paid more. Shit’s genius.

Two Buck Chuck, meet Two-Buck-A-Drain ‘Swain.

Best part is Ken’s “IDGAF you’re both in the red” smile.

Is there something wrong with me that I also thought the answer was hoe? Because I definitely thought the answer was hoe.

And one of the categories on Celebrity Jeopardy! recently was “The Pen Is Mightier”...and no one did the thing. Although Penn (or Teller? I can’t keep them straight) did ask for “Bull____” as “Bullshit” which had to be edited out, which was mildly entertaining.

One the categories in Double Jeopardy was actually “’S’ Words."

Look, dude, this unnamed man very strongly identifies with the lack of resolution to the question of bed identity location vis a vis his boots, and there’s nothing wrong with that.

one time i save bread

You are vastly overestimating the available choices in Bryant, AR. It's basically 16,000 people who don't want to live in the big city. Also it's in a dry county so they don't attract a lot of restaurants. Probably you could get Dominoes, but it seems like 6 of 1.

“You’re not following Cardinal Way.”

“...(Still sad the Terps left the ACC.)“

I love that movie and I love that book. Both great in slightly different ways.

the gold standard of dads visiting school

GOOD LUCK MAKING A TRIANGLE WITHOUT 3 POINTS, AMIRITE?

If I wanted to run for my life while having things thrown at me, I’d sit in the visitors section at WVU again.

It’s not like a tablet has ever said stealing was a no-no.

Is that the one that’s only available in easy-crush cans?

That’s a common mistake, but you’re thinking of Borbón whisky, distilled in the Dominican highlands on plantations belonging to the Cincinnati relief pitcher of the same name. Duh.