To be fair, “Jewish Space Lasers for Dummies” isn’t child appropriate. 

In My American Life, released on Tuesday

Same guy probably goes to a Wu-tang show and complains about all the kung-fu references. 

Mr. Blackface was his father. He just goes by Blackface.

When all you wear is accessories, it’s hard to keep them all clean.

Just one of many reasons I’m not a movie studio exec.

How’s that movie end again?

*writes down “assbeefs” in notes for future use

Anytime I randomly think of something like a funny pun like “Sneezus,” I type it into Google Images, and almost every time, someone has already thought of it and made an image of it. Blows my mind.

I can count the number of times things turned violent on exactly zero fingers.

Imagine being Anti-Earth?

They say to dress for the job you want. I guess she wanted to be a super villain.

Find him in person and look into those blue eyes. Then you will see Pine in all his glory.

• Britney Spears’s ex-husband Jason Alexander will stand trial after crashing her wedding earlier this month, reportedly while armed with a knife. [Billboard]

Philistines love a public forum.

Whether you’re religious, agnostic, atheist, or anything in-between, we should all be able to agree: God does not care about football.

You could make a very successful horror movie using that concept.

Yeah, but every asshole is full of shit.

Sounds like it’ll end like Waco.

He’s already cast as Man-Spider.