Reminds me of when lawyers beg their clients not to take the stand.

Forget Game of Thrones. ALF is gonna blow your mind.

Tig Notaro in black face would be the scandal that finally destroys us as a species.

This read like Jack Kerouac writing a vogue article... and i like it.

You guys ever get the feeling these tech fellas don’t have our best interests at heart?

If a motivation to kill baby Hitler is what eventually leads someone to actually invent the time machine, wouldn’t that paradox make reality implode on itself?

StrykEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!

There was one other thing. He was instrumental in putting away some drug dealers in his younger years. He did that by snitching on his criminal friends to get a lighter sentence, but crime fighting is crime fighting!

I feel a grittier take on Cast Away coming soon.

It seems like the go-to move for aging, irrelevant “celebrities” is to complain that they’re being cancelled for whatever reason. Maybe you’re just not popular anymore. Fame isn’t a guarantee, and it doesn’t last forever. You don’t see Wilson griping that he’s been cancelled. Although, Wilson has been dead for 2…

Tim Allen is a garbage person, and Christmas is a garbage holiday.

I just imagine some racist/incel guy trying to write his manifesto on Word with this feature accidentally turned on and him losing his goddamn mind every few seconds when it makes recommendations.  

NOW who do you call?

It’s pronounced “Mos Espa.”

We should hold an even to raise money for time travel research, so we can go back in time and get her aborted.

If they hold the event in March, they can call it the “March Death March”.

Came down to ask the same question. HA!

Nice try, vampires.

Oink you all worried about the ethical ramifications? 

Imagine being a part of such a trash group that the only way to attract new members is by trying to latch on to these other trash groups. Goddamn losers.