If a vagrant broke into a shuttered K-Mart and started selling house brand Brad Pitts, they would look like this guy.

I’m confused.

It’s insane that Tom Waits hasn’t been cast as something in the MCU yet. Maybe he should be Whistler in the new Blade movie.

They talk so much.

Wait until you find out about his MIDDLE TOOTH!

It took me a while to figure out whether you’re supposed to want hip dips or get rid of them. 

This feels a bit like Oblivion to me.

Do people really put bayonets on handguns? I’ve never seen that before.

The original Space Jam’s value was entirely in the soundtrack. I said it.

Guns don’t kill people. Legos kill people.

Sorry. I was just joking. But, maybe it is a thing.

It’s like Latinx.

so u cook the fries first, then add the sauce and mozzarella. Do you finish by putting it all under the broiler?

I will no longer watch or purchase any show or product associated with Comcast and their affiliates.

This sting put the Noid on death row. You ruin good pizzas, you get the chair.

Her enemy is General Brexit.

The Flynn family oath, which Michael Flynn appears to read off of an iPhone or tiny booklet,

This sounds like the platform a kid would use running for president in elementary school. By the way, that’s a compliment, and you have my vote.

Shoulda called it “PIPcorn” ya dingus.

Good luck! Inspector Gadget ain’t shit without Penny.