Stick to sports.

I mean, it gets the shit out of my head. So I would say it helps for like 15 minutes and then I feel bad again.

I don’t know whether this guy was a veteran, but they’d better play “Taps” in double-time at his funeral.

Not surprising, teens usually pop off early, even when thinking about baseball.

A hero is a sandwich.

You go to hell, Gladys.

I owe you an apology, Chris Thomson.

After further review, the ruling on the field is...boobs. Titty titty boobs.

now they see an opening and they can take advantage of him

Our problem is that we have snow. Your problem is that you have a school shooting every 2 weeks and still do nothing about it. Last week a puppy died in a plane because he was put in a overhead compartment. Politicians are now passing laws forbidding airline companies from doing that. Meanwhile you have no problems…

Man that is messed up, and right after he shoots Richie Incognito, I really think we need to take his guns away from him.

“I know we are a nation of laws, and this is a very serious and almost sacred process of deciding how to mete out punishment...but what the guy did was bad, so YOLO, you know? Free shots for everybody.”- No judge who wants to keep their job.

He’s gotta make One Stop at court first though.

Now he’s in for a Quick Trip to prison.

Things won’t be easier for him when he gets to central PA. He is going to be in deep Sheetz.

Ya know, if a backup catcher from Chicago was going to get unreasonably famous, it should have been Ron Karkovice.

The really great thing is, you don’t have to be alone with a woman to take away her access to health care.

“I’m interested in a powerful position in government and I’m willing to bribe you with a baseball team.”

Hey look! It’s that guy!

James Franco’s 4th brother there looks like he is about to be touched inappropriately by an old homeless Russian man.