My first response, before even finishing the article:

Sometimes, when I’m driving to work, I think that I’d rather have a disabling accident than live through another week of bullshit. Not the same thing? Okay, I have nothing to offer here. Bless it, as we say here.

I’m pretty upset with how Jezebel readers are being so incredibly dismissive and actually shitty about this.
Nursing is a predominantly female occupation and as such has routinely been dismissed as a less than vocation for exactly that reason. We have to fight to be taken seriously ALL the time. I get shitty comments…

Joy, Joy, Joy. Think before you speak ill of a nurse. She might (or one of her supporters) be the one to give you an enema. You might hear “think of Christmas, we’re going in dry!”

Actually, with doctors it’s kind of a crap shoot on whether they use a stethoscope. Part of the reason I go to my current PCP is because she listens to my lungs and heart every. time. She will also retake blood pressure measurements if they seem off. She’s very scientific and I like that about her a lot.

Everyone knows Doctors use sonic screwdrivers, not stethoscopes.

we get it, you're very cool

I guess that makes me and anyone who loves this film and soundtrack a loser then? Fuck anyone who can’t just allow other people to love a film. You want to act as though Garden State is terrible? It’s not. Is it the end all be all greatest film of all time? It’s not that either. But to act as though it’s irredeemable…

They also rip the heads off fish and use the carcass to masturbate.

Okay, I’ll bite. Am I really the only one who at least tries to get the guy to let me chip in for half? Sometimes the guy on the date stubbornly won’t let me, in which case I’ll usually concede (because I don’t want to get into a huge argument about it) and pay for the second date (if there is one) or, if we’re going…

This guy should take a lesson from Jeni’s Splendid Ice Cream, because they had a listeria scare earlier this year and they Shut. It. Down. Seriously. Shut down production, cleaned everything from the vats to the cracks in the floor tiles, sent out multiple apology/explanation emails, brought in scientists to help, and…

And? Look, I’m not stupid. I’m fully aware that cats don’t talk. Cats make a variety of noises. Sometimes people think those noises sort of sound like words. What does it hurt to tell people on the Internet about how my cat sometimes made cat-noises that sounded like people-noises? I know he wasn’t really talking, but…

Turned off the video when it was mentioned that they named their son “Jupiter.”

My mom was CONSTANTLY going through my stuff as a teen. When she found something she would place the evidence (printed emails, notes from friends, pot, a tiny vodka bottle) neatly at the end of my bed and clean my usually disgusting bedroom. Then she would sit in a certain chair just past my bedroom with her hands in…

When I was 12-13, I had discovered that I could use the internet to talk to people. My parents, who knew I was a precocious child, decided to install a spyware on the computer that would let them know everything I wrote, including awkward conversations I had with other preteen boys on IMVU (remember IMVU???) about…

Alright, here’s my anti-sympathy anecdote for Milkshake Lady:

The children who refuse grill lines eventually become the adults who want their milkshake in a bag.

I went to grad school with a very love, very sane woman. We graduated, blah blah anyway. She’s now super into crossfit. Everything she talks about is crossfit. She made her husband forgo cake on their anniversary for ‘a green smoothie! #getmygreens #health’. She went from being a person with varied interests to a…

CrossFit is like the Scientology of exercise.

I know she does crossfit. Because, like every other person who does crossfit, she feels a need to tell people that she does crossfit.