"You know Tina, the Devil takes your soul every time you orgasm? That is why your mother is still a pure woman today!" (I'm just guessing based on the image, I have to wait until I am done with work to be sure.)

Wait, how did she leave black women out? Are they not women?

Because I'm sure that's exactly what she meant.

Ok so I asked him.

Thinking back, I'm not sure I actually loved the boyfriends I thought I loved. I think I was more just trying to convince myself that I did because it was that or admit I didn't and break up. I'm not actually sure I love my husband some days. MAYBE I'M A MONSTER WHO CAN'T FEEL LOVE. This survey is making me question…

Weird, because Haagen-Dazs is usually such a reliable source of high quality research.

Good! the Bible says Adam and Eve, not Adam and Gonorrh-eve!

I think their last name was Smegma McFart. I don't know, but I like to pretend.

that's what human legs look like.

I don't know. I think it might end up being convenient if I ever decide to marry my boyfriend. That way, he can get all sorts of the video games and gadgets he likes as wedding presents and I can go to Best Buy and look for a new boyfriend.

I was invited to a wedding where the couple had your basic Bed Bath & Beyond registry, a jerkoff Crate & Barrel registry with $1500 bookshelves (and a $2800 bed), and then the asshole of all asshole Amazon registries complete with TVs (two of them), two DVD players, HDMI cables (seriously), and expensive camera…

It's your fault you're a dick, tho.

Cindarelly cindarelly where the helly is your belly?

Lady Rose is way too progressive for corsets.

All I got out of this is that I didn't know I wanted to see the Cinderella movie this badly and also that stag looks more like a CGIed moose than a deer.

I dunno, Mark, they can be kinda pushy...

"Think about where this could lead if government gets involved in science and medicine. "