You listed Jessica Chastain twice.

It must get awkward at parties when you see people looking at you and overhear them whispering about 'the guy who has really terrible opinions on everything'

I'm 35, but I don't like it.

If Jessica Chastain didn't want to be objectified, she shouldn't have been so damn sexy.

Zach Braff/Dax Shepard

Super-Charger Heaven earned me my first speeding ticket. 112 in an 80 zone.

Things to do in Denver when you're dead is criminally underrated. Walken and Buscemi were great *and* had cool names, the pacing was brisk, and Andy Garcia was tolerable.

Happy Gilmore, along with The Waterboy, is one of the arms of the 'Fuck you, Adam Sandler can occasionally make a hilarious movie when he actually puts effort in' trilogy.

…on which to hang their tiresome dogma of libertarian-flavored atheism

Adam Sandler might be a massive piece of oxygen-wasting, fart-joke-making, baby-voice-talking piece of shit now, but I will defend Billy Madison to the death.

Kristen Bell is cute and hilarious.
Jessica Biel is oatmeal with blonde hair.

I can and I will.

You nailed it. It's one of those books with a fascinating premise and a really interesting story… and really shitty writing. Corny dialogue that sounds like what some neckbeard thinks people might talk like, cringeworthy 'humor' that just snaps you right out of the book and a dorky focus on details (like the math of…

That was the most cringeworthy dialogue in a book filled with cringeworthy dialogue.

He rented them. And they got reposessed.

Why does DJ Roomba appear to come with a KKK hood accessory?

Tangled > Frozen

Old Man Rabin *hates* Sandler!

Your false hipster babies have no taste.

That's cool. Just try not to do it again.