On Trump Day, it is customary to take a 45-minute fast food-fueled shit while you threaten life on Earth as we know it through a series of rapid-fire tweets. Then we all die.

All this article did was to somehow get 'The Hook' in my head. Dammit to hell. Also, those are some jr. high-level insults in that tweet war. I skimmed, but I'm assuming there are some "yeah, well your mom is so fat" responses in there.

Now I want Ed Sheeran to appear in every remaining episode of Game of Thrones. HBO should also work him into Westworld.

People. Let's all calm the fuck down.

Ofdonald has a duty to her Commander.

Something new to hate about this administration each and every goddamned day!

This dipshit is nightmare fuel.

Winger's briefs from the pool game? I can't be the only one.

I wasn't aware of Sandy Hook conspiracy theorists until late last year when I read an article about a father of one of the victims and how these bags of shit harass him online, mostly as a result of Trump's trusted pal, Bloated Pus-Filled Taint Goblin Alex Jones. Their level of denial, insensitivity, cruelty and…

Fuck. If only there were other theaters in Austin and if only Wonder Woman's theatrical run wasn't ending Tuesday night!!! Seriously tho, fuck these whiny shitheads.

I really like what I can sorta hear.

Oh god. Two things that inexplicably annoy me: Jesse Eisenberg AND mimes??? Pass.

meh

This would all be pretty hilarious…if I didn't have to live here.

For different reasons, both events were terrifying to watch. Seriously though, he's got to be legitimately mentally ill.

So, everyone in this administration was the 'bully-the-"nerds"-into-doing-their-history-homework" types? Jesus H. Christ, I get that people put their foot in their mouths, especially on live TV, but EVERY G'D WEEK??

I had to search for 'Furniture Feet'. They are tacky as hell. Tacky. As. Hell.

Girl's gotta work, I guess. Hope it works. I believe in 739th chances.

One day…just ONE day, it would be nice not to want to yell "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK YOUUUUUUUUU" at my monitor while reading about this sack of crap.

This is so satisfying. I love how Mitch just stands there, blinking his ever-watery eyes, with that constant "Oops! I just sharted!" face.