Okay, I thought we were making fun of commercials. I'm backing out now.

And it only costs pennies a day to insure them for hundreds of thousands of dollars somehow.

He does call it the "Little General."

You did not just make a True Detective Season 2 reference.

I'd like to see her go as The Ringmaster from Hijinks.

I'd lead with that next time. "Racist" is such a terrible thing to call someone in 2016, there's no wiggle room for discussion.

I certainly understand being rubbed the wrong way or just not liking her style of humor but it's pretty unfair to label her as a racist because jokes didn't land with you. I don't think there's genuine hate there.

You nailed it. I'm not sure what "it" is but it are nailed.

I don't think anyone named "Greg" has ever successfully swooped in for action.

Too risky. I'd be worried there'd be Bloobs in the audience ready to start some shit.

No, see, The Smiths are British and that's how they do it.

If you would have chosen the other sliding door on the train you would have bumped into a pre-fame Gillian Jacobs and she would have been so charmed by your apology the two of you would have ended up married and you'd be producing her new hit Netflix series right now.

I'm starting a xeroxed Smiths-inspired poetry zine with awkwardly bad handdrawn covers. Do you guys think "Cemetery Gates" would be a good name?

I wore that thing on a Spirit Air flight and when I was sleeping the pilot stole my wallet.

His full name is "Internet Setup Wizard."

Last week's episode "The Dissonance Theory" aired on October 23. Theory. 23. Theory. 23! Have you noticed how often The Number 23 comes up?

Fan fiction, on the other hand? Mwah! (that was me kissing my hand and flicking it like a fancy French chef)

I mailed in "cowboy brobots."

Good luck prying Time Warner away from AOL. It's a small part of their massive empire but they consider it the jewel in the crown, right behind Compuserve.

It's not too late for you to have a kid who could have a career in showbiz.