But don't you think any small batch artisanal salsa made in the trendy boroughs of NYC would probably be better than a jar of Pace?

You lie. Billy Crystal was never a comedian.

Who the fuk is Jimmy fallon? I'm born in 2013 and never heard of him.

97% come to fruition, the failure of the remaining 3% become the subject of TEDTalks.

What if dedpole get ipad?

With a few exceptions everything Tarantino has done has felt fresh and unique even though still very much tied to its genre. Do these people think a work-for-hire Deadpool sequel is going to have that passion, or would they even want it if they got it? I could see him actually saying fuck it and making the Deadpool…

This is the same bullshit that brought us Cheetos dust covered chicken fries at Burger King.

Really, if there WAS something in there, how exciting could it possibly be? A big bag of outdated money? Some bearer bonds?

Omigod could you imagine if when they opened the vault there was like a naked lady in there or something? It would be live TV so they would have to show it too.

Uh, excuse me? People could have dialed in to Compuserve on their Wang remote terminals. There's also a little thing called carrier pigeons.

Jim Carrey has been such a dour motherfucker for so long now I forget at one point he was a clownish funny-all-the-time type.

That's Texas.

Listen to yourself man, you're talking nonsense. Let's get you somewhere warm.

Speaking of which, they just announced two Blade Runner sequels— one's a disaster movie about an attack ship fire off Orion's shoulder and one's a dance movie about some plucky C-beams trying to become stars on Tannhäuser Gate.

Can I recommend Antonio Sabato Jr.?

That's kind of an irritating song but Toni Basil is such an incredible artist otherwise you have to let it go.

Put that in a two-fer with "Dirty Laundry."

It's kind of Heaven, but everybody yells at each other all the time and every sentence has an asterisk that leads to an inscrutible bible verse.

That, and in the pre-internet era a celebrity who played with gender image and ambiguous sexuality like he did was a much bigger deal especially for those who didn't live in cool cities. I knew a few weirdo-outcast types in high school who were pretty obsessed with him, I'm sure this news is probably hitting them…

I get it, I'd feel the same way if Anthony Kiedis died. At the same time I think Pete Burns was probably a hero to a lot of people for what should be obvious reasons and I don't want to take that away.