I wish the film all the success of the Atlas Shrugged series. Zero success. I wish it zero success.

Well, if anyone can help inject a little humor into 9-11, its Luis Guizman. That man is a delight.

True story. This coworker of mine who seldom socializes with others once saw me reading some Dan Abnett sci-fi in the breakroom. He told me that he liked sci-fi too and suggested we trade books, to which I eagerly agreed. The next morning there was a copy of Dianetics waiting for me on my desk.

My takeaway is that dead babies are evil adult eggs.

Does the movie discuss how such miracles like rainbows and magnets even work? Asking for a juggalo friend.

As long as the entire movie has Beetlejuice with the tiny shrunken head he ended the first movie with, I'm in.

They needed Jerry Trainor to star in this. He's Nickelodeon's adult-sized goofball on demand.

At first I wasn't invested in the story. But then I saw the mean guy with the meth-face tattoo totally wink at Travolta's character after getting off scot-free with murder. Then I was like, "That guy is a dick!" and I started wondering if Travolta would ever be able to make things right. I guess I'll have to watch…

Because who would believe that his wife would want to avenge him?

It he had just taken that legal steroid that was turning men into BEASTS, he would have dodged that bullet and not had to worry about a funeral.

Stealing that.

I've had a hard day and am going to allow myself to laugh at that.

The Kaiju have been winning all of the sea battles. All of them. When I'm president, we'll be winning sea battles. We'll win the battles and have all the jaegers. We'll build the best jaegers and make this country great again!

Learn this ONE WEIRD TRICK priests don't want you to know about!

At risk of sounding dismissive, I find it weird that after 8 years of med school, the best solution to pimples she has to offer is one that I figured out all by myself in seventh grade.

I think Tricky would approve of a 'naked and Stamos' update to his song.

At first I thought, "God, Lethal Weapon 5 is a terrible idea!" Then I found out we were talking about a TV show. Then I thought, "That's much worse!"

Even in jest, its better if some things just never be written.

Did they use the same graphics engine that they used in the original show to create the poorly rendered "Matthew Perry" actor? Yeah, I said it.

I know the review was intended as condemnation, but much like the reviews of Battlefield Earth, at a certain point it began to provoke intense curiosity.