He's not better now.

Eric and me.

What are some decisions you've made in your life that you're glad about?

There's nothing more important or meaningful than vicarious Internet fame on a third-rate sports website, so I'd like to acknowledge everyone who played a part. Thanks to Stephen for bringing the matter to my attention and for putting my work out there, and thanks to Deadspin for picking it up, and thanks most of all…

You're Tina and Gene and I'm Gail and Mr. Fischoeder.

omg omg omg omg I'm on deadspin

I've gotten multiple texts from Seinfeld2000. My workday is immeasurably brightened.

I didn't say that you hate him, I just said that you are a hater.

No basketball mixtape in history has had good music. It would be a crime against the genre.

Stephen is the only Weird Al hater here, right?

Ever since I got this job I've been taking naps at about 5:30 every afternoon on the car ride home. It'll be annoying when I go back to school and can't do that anymore.

The former is one of a thousand '80s pop songs I have vague memories of from when I was very young. I was surprised when I learned what the song was about. The latter I'm not familiar with.

My favorite song about baseball is "Piazza, New York Catcher" by Belle and Sebastian.

Yeah, absolutely. He did a great job in spite of that, though; he came into Maryland and turned what was a football school into one of the more important basketball schools in the country. His teams in the '70s in particular were fantastic and loaded with future NBA players; it's just too bad they couldn't get over…

I really hate "Centerfield" by John Fogerty.

Lefty Driesell needs to be #1 on that list.

Today Dave and I went walking in a dry creek and then after that drove around aimlessly for a while. We managed to trace a route that looks remarkably like a penis.

Yeah, it's a great trade for both teams.

My duvet is thick
My box spring is deep
I rotate my mattress like every week

This is correct.