Her?

The worst is yet to come!

"OMNI: The Magazine of Science Fact, Fiction, and Fantasy — And We're not Afraid to Blur the Difference!"

Banjo!

Wakka-wakka!

Well, hold on. There's a chance - a slim one - that they won't go all the way back to Little Bruce's parents getting killed. Maybe they can trust the audience to know who Batman is. That saves you ten minutes right there.

Or: Chariots of the Gods?

I also got a kick out of Spaceman Finn.

Never heard of this guy, but the quotes above hit home for fifty-year-old me. It sounds like he's hitting the Dave Berry vibe, but more thoughtfully.

It's not about speed, just keep enjoying yourself. I've always found it exhilarating, knowing that after this great book I'm reading now, there's a lot of others I'm looking forward to.

For certain limited definitions of "appealing," yes.

Well, dangit, Colorado's probably still too dry for that.

Wait, what? Costco sells alcohol now? Did you get the two-gallon jug or splurge on the fiver?

Well, that's undoubtedly the biggest surprise I'll get all day. Thanks!

Next they should do Year Without a Santa Claus and have a gritty re-imagining of the Heat Miser.

Sheng dan kuai le!

Just bread?! Just bread!? And I suppose herpes is "just" a viral infection?

I'd go with crust.

Being misspelled doesn't make it an adjective!

Dammit this made me have to look up "bae." Based on the first entry in urban dictionary, I still don't understand this.